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Oh, Who Cares What Your Name is Anyway.

September 27, 2009 by EDubya

For whatever reason, there are a host of celebrities that I constantly confuse with other celebrities. I’d say that this is all age related stupidity creeping in, but I have had this problem FOR. EVER. In fact, some of these actors, I haven’t seen in anything in years, so I know that this whole mess started when they were actually on TV in the 80′s, which means that there is no way that I was either old enough or had damaged enough braincells by that point for *that* to be a factor. NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE. That said, I don’t think I’m alone. Judging by any number of car conversations with friends and loved ones, I’d venture to guess that this is a universal problem. I give you a small sampling of my “issues”, but fess up. I’m sure you have your own.

Dylan McDermott
Dylan McDermott
Dermot Mulroney
Dermot Mulroney

No similarity at all here aside from the initials. I loved Dermot Mulroney’s “Dirty Steve” character in Young Guns for the classic “We’re in the spirit world, asshole. They can’t see us.” read. Dylan McDermott is more of the pretty boy type, which is not to say he isn’t wholly enjoyable. I did like “The Practice.” Whatever. Judge if you must.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Mary Stuart Masterson
Mary Stuart Masterson

There is no reason at all that I should confuse these two, yet I do. They don’t play the same kinds of roles, or even show up in the same types of movies. You know, now that I think about it, these three name people just throw me off, cus there is this duo and also…

Pamela Sue Martin
Pamela Sue Martin
Melissa Sue Martin
Melissa Sue Anderson

You may not even remember these two. Pamela Sue Martin was “Fallon” on Dynasty and Melissa Sue Anderson was “Mary” on Little House on the Prairie. They were both on TV. That’s about all they have in common, I think. I know none of us wept over Fallon, but come on…who didn’t shed a few tears when MARY WENT BLIND?!?!?!

David Horowitz
David Horowitz
Ralph Nadar
Ralph Nadar

LOLZ.

Vincent D'Onofrio

Vincent D’Onofrio
Adam Baldwin
Adam Baldwin

It was only like a year ago when I finally realized that Vincent D’Onofrio, whom I think is AWESOME, did not, in fact, star in “My Bodyguard”. This may be the only instance where I can partially explain it away with some physical resemblance between the two. Maybe? A little? Ahem.

I swear I’m not this much of an idiot.

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10 Comments »

  1. Aaron says:

    What about Tom Sizemore and Michael Madsen?

    Also, Vincent D’Onofrio is always right there with Mark Ruffalo for me.

    Finally, just 2 weeks ago I said that Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney should star in a remake of “Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.” http://selfaday.com/#2009-09-13

  2. kipod says:

    my mary stuart masterson foil is mary-louise parker. confusion further compounded by them playing together in “fried greed tomatoes.”

  3. milky says:

    no, you’re not alone…
    http://urlzen.com/umr

  4. SV says:

    you are sooooo not alone! Though I totally think that the mc/dermots look alike and I think I get O’nofrio confused with …oh geeze what the hell is that guys name…Vince something I think.

  5. Steve says:

    I couldn’t even tell you about the first two. I think they may be the same person.

    I must confess a major crush on Mary Stuart Masterson (some kind or wonderful) so I never get her confused.
    I get Mary L. Parker confused all the time. with some other three named celeb.

  6. Aaron says:

    Steve, you are completely right about Mary Stuart Masterson in Some Kind of Wonderful. Still lover her from that.

  7. SnazzyGina says:

    OK! I got one
    Katy Perry: http://bit.ly/TMiDS
    and
    Zooey Deschanel: http://bit.ly/JRIuN

  8. Bob Truel says:

    I could never keep Reece Witherspoon and Christina Ricci separate. It drove Amy nuts. Then I started remembering the difference. Now I call them by the wrong name on purpose.

  9. mynx says:

    I’m going to third that ongoing Mary Stuart Masterson crush from “Some Kind of Wonderful”, so I never ever ever ever get her confused with anyone…
    Other than that, I barely know who some of these other people that you’ve listed are, definitely get them mixed up for one another. Could cite more examples, but then, can’t even remember names.
    You know, white people start to look alike after a while. ;^)

  10. Tilly McLain says:

    I have my own Dynasty mix up! I swear I confuse the names “Joan Crawford” for “Joan Collins” all the time. heaven forbid, cause we all know who the better Joan is ;)

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