1. The time I had dinner at the home of a friend of a friend, and was told upon the clearing of the plates that the “chicken” I had been enjoying was, in fact, rabbit. It should be noted that we spent a good hour before dinner playing with all the various animals at the house including goats, sheep, run of the mill dogs and…you guessed it…rabbits.
2. That night that when I was about six and got out of bed, came downstairs and discovered the rest of the family enjoying delicious coffee ice cream in my absence, then went into the kitchen, found the soup spoon used to scoop it, and took a big lick only to discover that it was coated not in coffee ice cream, but in canned dog food.
3. The less-than-romantic Valentine’s Day spent in Australia when I found the HUGE BRIGHT GREEN FLY in my dinner.
4. When I found the ant cooked and dead on my ear of corn and my brother and sister dared me to eat it, which I did.
5. The horrible discovery that the pepperpot soup my mom was fond of making for me as a kid contained tripe.
6. When I spent months using grape Bubble Yum gum to reenact the episode of The Bionic Woman where the impostor Jamie Summers kept eating little nips off the glob of purple goo, gaining superhuman strength to mimic the bionic awesomeness.
7. Anytime I saw cow tongue in the supermarket. or fish with eyeballs.
8. Speaking of fish, that whole “gut reaction” thing probably counts.
9. Speaking of “gut reaction“, there was this time at Mammoth Lakes when all of us spent an entire day picking berries to make pie and eating them by the fistful and then the left over berries, ALL THE LEFTOVER BERRIES, hatched overnight and little worms spilled out all over the kitchen counter.
10. Literally scarring was the time I made baked apples in the crockpot, took one bite and BURNED THE EVER-LOVING SHIZZIT out of my mouth. Couldn’t eat for four days. I mean nothing.
11. That one time I took a swig out of a water glass left on the coffee table overnight only to discover much later that someone had deposited a booger in it the night before.
12. When I, while snacking on a popsicle, was being a dutiful little sister watching one of the million soccer games of my older siblings, and I accidentally licked a bee off my finger and it stung me IN MY MOUTH.
13. The time in Japan when the hot towel they gave me in the restaurant had a short, curly hair in it. : |
14. I’m lumping all the times I found a caterpillar in my salad as one absurd incident. It’s less troubling that way.
15. Last but not least, there was that time that I was finishing up my pasta with marinara and Pick-a-Pepper sauce (It was college…what?), and I found the very distinctive and very large leg of a cockroach on my plate. Thanks, Pick-a-Pepper.
#1 by SnazzyGina at October 15th, 2009
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OH GOD. I’m 7.5 weeks pregnant. Now, I’m FOR SURE going to hurl tonight. Thanks! :|
OH, I have two.
1.) Once when I was seven, I took a big drink of my orange juice that had been sitting outside for a bit. There was a chunky thing. I chewed. Something wasn’t right. I spit it out. It was a fly. (that was also the year I pooped my pants…whole other blog post)
2.) I was 18 and cleaning my messy room. I was thirsty and there was a cup of water in my room. I was sipping on it. Not really caring that it was a very OLD cup of water. Everytime I took a sip I would catch a whiff of something stenchy. Wrong. Horrible. After about 8 sips…I noticed the creepy giant dead spider at the bottom of my glass. Dun dun DUN!