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I Don’t Clean Fish Tanks.

November 16, 2009 by EDubya

I mentioned Small’s affinity for fishing that came seemingly out of NOWHERE, right? The kid is like a real life Benjamin Button. If I wasn’t actually there when he was born, I would swear that he was an old man trapped in a 7 year old body. Bolstering my case is the fact that he has always had these random interests that seem too old for him, like when he was turning four and all he wanted for his birthday was gardening accoutrements. Seriously.

He likes to fish and go to the driving range.

He loooooves to study past presidents.

He talks about eggnog season all year long.

There are few things he is fonder of than sitting around playing Risk or Life.

These are all clues to the little codger brain he conceals behind those big brown eyes. He was somewhat blotchy and weird when he was born, come to think of it, and he did have a bum ticker. Who knows…

I bring all this up because last year he wanted a fish tank for Christmas. Despite the fact that they would be entrusting this venture to happen under my watch, his grandparents were happy to oblige. Worth mentioning is the part where I am certified as a black thumb of aquatic wildlife care, so this was a dicey undertaking. We did quite a bit of research on what kind of tank would be more likely to survive his my death grip.

He ended up with a BiOrb. First…it looks REALLY COOL. It was relatively painless to set up, the hardest part being the few days you have to condition the water before you start tossing guppies in it. We took him to the store and helped him pick out a King Beta, which he took home, plopped in the bowl and dubbed “Lucky”. After the tank balanced with the new occupant, we added three more little guys. The first few hours wondering if the Beta was going to eat the new fish were interesting to say the least. Talk about a life lesson. I might as well have set them down in front of a “When Animals Attack” tv marathon. Thankfully, there was no bloodshed and the roommates have done quite well together. Somewhere along the line, we ended up with a host of tiny snails in the tank too, probably hitchhikers on some of the greenery we bought.

Blah, blah, blah…. the real miracle of this tank is this…

We set it up in January and I have cleaned it twice.


You heard me. Twice.

If you are careful about keeping the environment balanced in it, this tank is pretty much maintenance free. Can you imagine a hamster cage you cleaned twice since January? *shudder* This tank has made it possible for the first time EVER IN MY LIFE for me to keep fish alive more than like three weeks. The best I ever did before this was probably a batch of Sea Monkeys. Miracle, I tell you. If you have occasion to pick up a tank this is the one to get.

Next up, puppy tanks…

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1 Comment »

  1. Kathleen says:

    Awesome!!! I can’t explain how badly I want a fish tank. I’ve wanted one for YEARS. But I’ve owned a water-obsessed cat that entire time (literally obsessed, she attacks the humidifier and loves the bathtub), and the whole thing seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

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