Supermarkets, in all their miraculous wonder, are genius in their thoughtfulness. They know you are going to be carrying many, many little packages while shopping, so they provide you with fancy little wheeled contraptions to ease the burden a bit. These contraptions (carts to the layman) are “lent” to the shoppers until their shopping excursion concludes with the loading of the groceries into their car, at which point they are to be returned to any one of the provided cart corrals scattered conveniently throughout the parking area. I can probably count on one hand how many times in the last 15 years that I haven’t returned a shopping cart to one of those little metal corral dealies when I was finished with it, and I guarantee there were extenuating circumstances, like screaming children and pouring rain and I had the flu ALL AT ONCE. It doesn’t take that much effort, does it? It seems like it would take more effort to position your cart between two cars in such a way that you could be sure it wasn’t going to roll into a parked car than it does to just walk it back where it belongs, doesn’t it? If that thing isn’t parked just right, it’s going to go a-rollin’ and when it does, it’s going to maim other cars. Why not just neutralize the skill and luck factor and walk around the parking lot with a tiny hammer and leave your mark on the other cars?

I guess this one won’t be rolling into any other cars, but does a planter really seem like the best place to park? My question is, does the person that does this STILL do it if there is someone there to see it, or is there even a modicum of shame involved? Are they that comfortable with this that they would exchange pleasantries with someone, all the while pushing the cart over to the planter, pressing down on it to do the little requisite wheelie and then shoving it into the plants? Isn’t it really just the parking lot equivalent of deciding that ten yards to a bathroom is too far and taking care of business right next to your car instead? Or…my car? Cus, it’s usually my car, right? How is this less effort than just putting it back where it goes?? Mark my words, these are the same people that kick food under their fridge instead of picking it up when they drop it.

How far is too far? Was this really too far? Criminy, it is like five feet away. I guess five feet too far for, at minimum, the three folks who left these sitting in a random cart party instead. If they pushed a shopping cart around the parking lot, were they so terrified that they might be mistaken for homeless people that they panicked and left it at the first sign of other human beings that might misinterpret simple courtesy for hobo culture? I’m pretty sure they could just jingle their key ring and dispel any misguided onlookers. You know all my Safeway rants usually center on the INSIDE of the store, but today, the customers were so special that I just had to widen my circle of venom. Please, please, tell me you are not one of the cart people.

On second thought, if you are, it’s best that you don’t tell me.